


She was a Princess

by kikabennet



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Cute Kids, Daddy Issues, Family Drama, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5797360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikabennet/pseuds/kikabennet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fiona Gallagher reflects on her life raising five kids. Just a story from the start of Fiona's life to the start of Shameless. Fiona remembered a time when she was Frank's baby girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She was a Princess

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write something like this for a while. I hope you enjoy it, and I appreciate the comments, kudos, and bookmarks! Let's hope that Shameless goes back to what it used to be!

There wasn't a long time between Fiona and Lip, but Fiona held a few memories-most of them foggy, of the times when she was Frank and Monica's only child. One of them, she remembered very clearly. She was four years old, and they'd been living in a tiny, dingy apartment in the deepest, most dangerous part of South Side Chicago. The part where drive by shootings were routine and cops were paid in pairs to stay overnight at the entrance of the complex.

Fiona remembered having long, curly hair that her mother kept up in cute styles whether it be a ponytail with a ribbon, pigtails, braids. Her mother used to go on and on about her daughter's beautiful dark hair, and Fiona could remember chasing Monica around the apartment with rubber bands and a hairbrush begging her to comb and fix her hair.

Fiona also remembered Frank, a different Frank. Now that she was older, grown, she knew that this different Frank was just a less drunk Frank, and she was lucky enough to have her earliest years with him. Frank, or “Daddy” as he was then, used to read to her every night. She would wait for him to get home, parked on the arm of the small loveseat they used as a sofa which was right next to the window, waiting for him to come up the stairs. Back then, in her childish mind, he was coming home from work. Frank would come home and cook dinner, and he was a very good cook. While Monica was better at fixing hair and keeping a clean but cluttered apartment, Frank could make the best dinners, breakfasts, and even things like homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Fiona frequently found herself going back to one particular memory that year, one she tried to frequent less and less, bu always found herself visiting more and more. Frank had been home for the evening, and had his chess board out. The delicious smell of chicken and dumplings filled the cold little apartment, and there were homemade cookies to be eaten after dinner in the microwave. Monica had just given Fiona her bath and was making a knotted blanket at the kitchen table. A blanket that would be for the new baby she was now carrying in belly. Fiona didn't know that yet.

Fiona and Frank sat on opposite sides of the coffee table, the chess board in front of them, and even though Fiona didn't know how to play, Frank always let her pretend.

“What's your next move, Daughter?” He asked seriously, which made Fiona grin mischievously.

She reached slowly for the piece he'd just moved and Frank said, “Uh oh. Fiona's going to capture my king.”

And that's what Fiona did. She took the piece and began running around the living room, squealing with excitement as Frank stood up and chased her growling, “Come back here, you little monster!”

Monica watched with a wide smile and crinkled eyes as Frank scooped Fiona up and turned her upside down, blowing raspberries onto her stomach. When he put her down, he gave her playful slap on the seat of her pajama pants and kissed her cheek.

“Ready to eat?” He asked.

“Daddy, hold me!” She said, jumping up and down.

Fiona was a tall four year old, and Frank pretended to struggle as he picked her up, her long legs dangling.

“You're spoiling her, Honey,” Monica said.

“She needs to be spoiled,” Frank replied. “She's my little girl. My leading lady. My perfect princess.”

It was that memory that kept Fiona from never kicking him out. Deep in her heart, Fiona knew that that Frank was gone forever, but she always kept it tucked away in a special place, so that when she was overwhelmed with work or the kids or a relationship or money, she could smile just a little. Even if it had just been a time long ago, she had once been special to Frank.

======================================================================================================

Things were different with the new baby around. Phillip, was his name, and Fiona was jealous of the attention he got. Monica didn't have a lot of time to fix Fiona's hair now. Frank would often come home from “work” and sit on the couch with a beer in one hand, the baby in the other, telling him soft things about how he was his “little man” and his “pride and joy”.

Fiona started kindergarten that year, and that's when she realized she was different, that she wasn't like other little girls. She was the only white girl in her entire class, maybe the entire kindergarten class even. It didn't stop her from making friends, but her school wasn't like the schools on television either. There were too many children in her class. There weren't even chairs for them and some had to sit on the floor. She was the only child that packed a lunch. All of the other children ate free lunch in the cafeteria. Fiona went home and complained that she wanted cafeteria lunch too.

“We can't afford that,” Monica told her, tending to baby Phillip. “Peanut butter is cheap and you love it.”

“It's free,” Fiona told her, handing her a paper. “My teacher gave me this.”

It didn't matter anyway because they moved out of the apartment and into some man's house Fiona did not know. Frank was less interactive with his children now, and not all interactive with her except for the quick hug and kiss or playful game of tickling. His hair was becoming shaggier and dirtier, and he spent less time at home. Fiona, Phillip, and their mother spent most of their time on an air mattress in a spare room in the strange house filled with cardboard boxes. Fiona started a new school, and then another one when they were once again on the move, in another house that belonged to another family. One night when Frank was home, and they were all crammed into another spare room, Fiona snuggled up against her father and asked, “Am I still a princess?”

“Always my princess,” her father murmured sleepily, stroking her cheek. “My beautiful Fiona.”

======================================================================================================

Monica became pregnant again, and she and Frank often argued because they would both disappear and wonder where the other one went. Fiona was often left alone with her baby brother in a bedroom where they were living or eventually another apartment. She taught herself how to cook simple things like pancakes and eggs and spaghetti.

“I am not cheating on you, Frank!” Monica snapped one evening as Fiona clumsily served a dinner of spaghetti and bread with butter.

“Then how are you pregnant?” Frank asked. “Hm? We haven't had sex in forever!”

“We have sex all the time!” Monica shot back. “You're just always too drunk to remember it!”

“Here you go, Phillip,” Fiona told her baby brother happily, giving him a piece of bread to gum on. She smiled and touched his nose.

“Bah!” Phillip barked, banking his uncoordinated fists on the high chair.

“Here you go, Daddy,” Fiona said, giving her father a piece of bread with his dinner.

“Thank you, Pumpkin,” Frank said in a sweet voice, and then continued to yell at Monica, who yelled back.

===============================================================================================

Fiona also began to clean a lot, and pretended she was Cinderella. At school, her teacher became concerned with the stories Fiona told her about babysitting and cooking dinner and cleaning house. She eventually made Fiona go talk to the school counselor, and when Frank and Monica got wind of it, they sat Fiona down and informed her that she could not discuss what happened at home at school. Fiona, confused, dutifully nodded.

===================================================================================================

Ian was not like Phillip, who was a content, quiet baby. Ian was fretful, especially at night, and often Fiona would be the one to get up with him. Monica would sometimes lay in bed for days ignoring his whimpers, and Frank would be gone. Two babies was exhausting, but Fiona somehow managed. She sang to both of them, and told them stories, and brought them to bed with her except for the times Monica would want Ian in the bed with her and shut the door, leaving Fiona and Phillip alone.

===========================================================================================

One night, there was no food in the apartment. Not even a crumb. Fiona was hungry, and kept opening the cabinets and refrigerator as if she might have missed something, but there wasn't a scrap of anything to eat. Frank was passed out on the sofa, where he usually was during the day, and Fiona shook him awake.

“What?” Frank asked sleepily.

“Daddy,” Fiona said, feeling almost embarrassed. It had been a long time since she'd asked him for anything now that she was so used to doing things for herself. “I'm hungry.”

“Fix yourself a sandwich,” Frank slurred. “You're a big girl.”

“There's no bread,” Fiona told him.

Frank sat up and stared at her, blinking heavily. He pulled a five dollar bill from his pocket and said, “There's a Mcdonalds on the corner. Go get yourself a cheeseburger.”

Fiona bundled up in her coat and boots and dressed baby Phillip too. She carried him out of the apartment and down the stairs and out of the complex to the Mcdonalds that was only a block away. Once they were inside, she ordered some nuggets and french fries and a soda and shared them with her baby brother.

“Nona,” Phillip babbled.

“FEE-OH-NUH,” his sister sounded out, kissing his mess of blonde curls.

“NO-NUH,” Phillip said, grinning.

Fiona was six, Phillip two, and Ian one. Phillip talked clearly now, and was smart for his age. Fiona appreciated this because it gave her someone to talk to, a friend of sorts. He potty-trained fast, and Ian toddled after him like the sun rose and set with his older brother.

“Lip!” Ian babbled, chasing after him on legs that were not at all unsteady like most toddlers.

The nickname stuck. Pretty soon the whole family was calling him “Lip”.

=======================================================================================

They were now living out of a car, and Fiona dreaded leaving school. She hated sitting in that car, cramped for hours. Frank and Monica often disappeared leaving her with the boys, and she'd run out of songs to sing them and stories to tell. Sometimes she would take them out of the car and walk around whatever parking lot they were in, even if it was cold or raining.

After one particular cold, rainy evening when she'd walked them inside the Walgreens nearby, Ian wailed miserably once they were back in the car.

“Ian, baby,” Fiona said, bouncing him on her lap. “What's the matter?”

She checked his diaper again, but it was dry. Frank and Monica returned to the car with a pizza and a soft drink for the kids to share. Fiona was so tired of pizza and corndogs and fried chicken, but it was food so she didn't complain. She tried to get Ian to eat first, but he would not.

“I have some business to take care of,” Frank said. “I'm gonna drop you kids off. Fiona watch the boys.”  
“Where're you going?” Fiona asked worriedly. She hated being left alone, but the idea of being alone outside of the safety of the car was terrifying.

“Work,” Frank replied curtly. “How else am I going to feed you kids, huh?”

He dropped them off on an unfamiliar street in front of a shady looking video rental store next to a smoke shop. Monica waved to them as Frank drove off. Fiona was close to tears. Lip sat on one of her thighs, sucking his thumb, Ian squirmed on her other, wailing.

“Ian, I don't know how to help you,” Fiona whimpered, kissing his head. She then noticed how hot he was.

“Ian is sick?” Lip asked her.

“I think so,” Fiona said, raising up the back of Ian's shirt to press the back of her hand to his back. That was how Frank had always checked her for a fever.

Ian's backside was hot to the touch, and he was crying so hard he was coughing. Fiona stood up, awkwardly trying to pick up both boys because Lip walking along side of her would slow them down. When she managed to get some sort of hold on them both, she began walking. Clinics were nothing new to her, and she'd seen one on the way.

“We're going to the doctor, Ian,” she told the screaming baby. “We'll get you some medicine, okay?”

“I wanna walk,” Lip whined.

“No,” Fiona told him.

Nobody offered to help her. Nobody even glanced at her. Ian shrieked the entire way to the clinic and when Fiona finally made inside of the double doors, she dropped him by accident, which made him scream bloody murder. A girl working at the front desk hurriedly approached them. Fiona knelt down to try and help Ian up. Lip stood by with a somber expression.

“My baby brother's sick,” Fiona told her. “He's hot.”

They did not let her leave the clinic. Somehow, they got a hold of Frank and Monica (Fiona never knew how the pulled that off) and informed them that the children were going into “protective custody”. Monica seemed shocked, covering her mouth, and Frank was angry, demanding they give him the kids back.

Looking back, Fiona knew she was better off without Frank that day, but at the time, she cried for her father, and everything was perfect when he picked her up, holding her against his chest. She couldn't even remember the last time Frank had held her.

The police had arrived and taken Fiona and her brothers away, and for the next several months, Fiona and the boys were moved around to four different houses filled with other children, and in the last house, they were split up, which broke Fiona's heart.

========================================================================================================

Things changed when Frank came to get her, his overall appearance a little brighter and he told her cheerfully that they had a new house. Fiona followed him outside to a van, and Frank told her, “And new wheels!”

Fiona was so excited. It felt like Christmas, or at least how Christmas seemed to feel in the movies. Frank took her to a diner and ordered her pancakes with chocolate chips and a chocolate milk and apple pie for dessert.

Monica and the boys were already at the “new house” which looked like a palace to Fiona. It even had stairs. She hugged her mother, and her brothers, and spent the rest of the day playing and just being a kid.

The next few months were wonderful. Frank read to the kids, cooked for them. Monica no longer did Fiona's hair because she could now do it herself, but she took her shopping and helped her to pick out clothes for school that would be starting in the fall.

Even though they now had a house, Frank slipped back into his old ways and stayed gone for days or even weeks at a time. Monica would also go into strange funks, lying on the couch everyday telling the kids in a foggy voice that she was “out of medicine”.

Fiona was back to cooking and cleaning and child rearing, but she didn't mind as much. Lip was an easy going child, and even though Ian was wild, he listened to his big sister. They obeyed Fiona more than they obeyed Frank and Monica put together.

===============================================================================================

Deborah or “Debbie” as she was affectionately dubbed by Frank, was born when Fiona was ten. By this time, she was used to Frank and Monica's ways and was fully prepared to raise another child. Lip was six, but very mature for his age-reading two grades ahead and part of the gifted and talented program at school. Ian was five and though somewhat shy, was very active and always eager to please. Fiona knew that she would have all the help she needed taking care of Debbie.

Debbie was sweet baby with a chubby face and thick, dark red hair like Ian's. Before she was even walking, Monica popped out another baby, Carl, who was born in the van that now sat behind the house rotting away. None of them knew where Frank had been at the time, and one of Frank and Monica's mutual friends had helped deliver the new Gallagher. That had also been the day Fiona had started her period.

Like Fiona, Lip and Ian learned to take care of themselves quickly, always helping out with toddlers Debbie and Carl. Fiona envied their closeness-all four of them. Lip and Ian, now nine and eight, spent almost all of their time together whether it be outside or in their room. Carl and Debbie toddled around together practically speaking their own language that only the other one could understand.

Fiona now not only cooked dinner, prepared lunches, cleaned house, and made beds and made sure kids were fed and cleaned with brushed teeth, but she also paid bills. She learned quickly that Frank acquired money through disability, and now waited until he passed out drunk after his first day with a cashed check to sneak into his room or to the sofa and steal just enough to pay the gas or the light bill. She took turns with every month paying bills, two of them always being late. For groceries, she became a coupon guru and also made money babysitting other people's children. Lip and Ian also helped out. Lip tutored and Ian scrounged around for cans and scrap metal and copper wiring. The three of them practically ran the house paying bills and taking care of the little ones. Frank and Monica just sort of lived there occasionally.

Monica's stints of highs and lows grew worse with time, to the point where Fiona could see the warning signs. Sometimes she would disappear with strange men or women or both, for weeks at a time and return with food or gifts. Other times she would lie around and not even bother to shower. Fiona lost sympathy for her. Her mother was no longer “sick” in Fiona's mind, but a nuisance.

Frank came and went as he pleased, and it annoyed Fiona to no end because even though Lip had sort of started to grasp what Frank was, Ian and the little ones had not yet. Ian, like Fiona had done years ago, followed Frank around when he was home, desperate for his father's attention. Frank would take Ian out shooting once in a while, or sometimes, if Ian had money to pay for it, to the movies or out to breakfast. Years later, Fiona would put it together that Ian's yearning for Frank's love and attention was the reason behind Kash and Ned, older men that made him feel wanted.

Debbie and Carl loved Frank and Monica.They loved the attention Monica gave them when she was on one of her highs, and when Frank was home, they would be right along side Ian, wanting him to play with them and tease them and love them.

When the parents were gone, it hardly phased Debbie and Carl because it was a routine they'd been used to their whole lives. It was normal for them, and that made Fiona sad, so she tried to be the best big sister she could be. Carl started a free pre-kindergarten program the year Debbie started kindergarten, and was immediately deemed problematic. He hit, he bit, he scratched, he didn't listen to his teachers.

Fiona tried to show up in Frank and Monica's place for a mandatory conference, but they did not take a sixteen year old sister seriously, and Carl was expelled from preschool. Debbie, on the other hand, was smart and polite and driven. She was on the road to success.

====================================================================================================

Two years later, Monica gave birth to the final Gallagher child. A dark skinned baby named Liam. By this time, none of the Gallagher siblings were surprised by anything Frank or Monica did, so when Liam was born an entire different ethnicity, they barely batted an eye. Frank, himself, when he finally got around to coming home and seeing the baby, didn't seem all that shocked.

“His name is Liam,” his eldest said, holding the infant. Monica was already back in a funk.

“He's precious,” Frank said, taking the infant from her. “Hello, my baby boy.”

Two months later, Monica up and vanished, and did not come back, as she normally did. Frank continued to come and go, irritating his children. Fiona, Lip, Ian, and even and Carl and Debbie worked together to run a tight ship. They didn't always like each other, and made each other so angry sometimes they wanted to kill one another, but some nights Fiona would finally fall into bed, and just be thankful. Frank and Monica took and took, and never offered anything in return, but Fiona knew that their irresponsible, reckless behavior had paved the way for bright independent children who were more close knit than any other group of siblings could ever be.

Fiona was beyond exhausted everyday, but she always dipped back into the memory of Frank's lavish praises-how she was a leading lady, a princess, and she pretended Frank still told her these things as she worked hard to keep her kingdom up and running.

 


End file.
